By DJ Monk
It seems to be becoming a habit for emerging bands to claim that they are the saviours of a certain sub-genre of rock ‘n’ roll or heavy metal, the cavalry riding over the hill to rescue it, drag it from the quagmires of perceived mediocrity and breathe new life into its dying corpse like a Netflix-funded superhero. Unfortunately, all too often, such “saviours” themselves have nothing new to offer, are themselves embedded in that same muddy mire and, to coin a phrase, merely guilty of spreading “fake news”.
Unfortunately, the latest proponents of this annoying trend to pull up their horses outside ÜRHQ are Northampton quartet The Big Dirty. Now, with a name like that, and a debut album entitled ‘The Sex’, it should be fairly obvious what genre to which they are seeking to apply their vaunted kiss of life. Yes, they inhabit the sleazy back alleys of the Überverse, where they mooch and slouch with lascivious intent – but for all their cocksure swagger and braggadocio, the only way these boys fulfill their invitation to get us all moist is by spilling the beer they invite us to hold in the opening track.
This debut offering has two problems. First of all, it’s too clean and clinical, sounding like it has been doused in a barrel of disinfectant to wipe any trace of nasty germs – and, therefore, any elements of sleaze – form its pores before being released from the laboratory in which it was germinated. With a very few exceptions, such as the promisingly dense bass rumble of ‘Whiskey Pistol’ or the Lizzy-esque last 30 seconds of ‘Take It Slow’, there is no sense of these boys having stomped their nice pristine cowboy boots in any back alley puddles any time recently. There is now sense of chaotic abandonment, no intimation that any of the songs is about to come all over your face, or even stir your loins sufficiently to make you do the same in your overly tight jeans.
Its other problem is that, at 13 songs, it is far too long, and contains so much filler material that it starts to drag before it even reaches its halfway point. It’s as if the band have taken all their eggs and thrown into them one big basket, instead of thinking things through and maximizing the impact by minimizing the amount of extraneous nonsense cluttering up its grooves.
On this occasion, unfortunately, ‘The Sex’ is extremely unfulfilling; so much so, that I’m not even inclined to have a wank afterwards in order to satisfy my craven desires, as I’m just totally turned off by the whole experience.
- ‘The Sex’ is out now. You can get your copy HERE.
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