By Jase Walker
There’s nothing like seeing a name like Lordi pop up doing a tour and you decide to stick a few nostalgic videos on YouTube and see “uploaded 17 years ago”to make you feel like you might as well go collect your pension, is there? Yeah, well, anyway I’m gonna throw the horns around a bunch tonight because this lineup is more metal than your mum’s kettle. Lordi and his gruesome ensemble are tearing up P60 in Amstelveen tonight supported by All For Metal, who I saw at this same venue last year supporting Wind Rose. So it’s going to be a fun, wacky and above all, metal as fuck and a jolly good time… so looking forward to it!
Definitely ones for a theatrical entrance, the stage darkens well before their walk on, with some subtle yet rumbling music playing in the background which suddenly amps up just as they run into the fray. And of course one of the last to join on stage is their absolutely fucking massive singer (out of two): it’s All For Metal time with their epic fantasy themed metal – and wait, oh yes, the dancers too, I forgot about them… that’s eight people in total on stage and a bit more cramped this time due to Lordi’s gigantic set behind them. Every person in this band bloody loves what they’re doing, it’s that little bit silly and goofy but they’re a ton of fun to watch though: epic riffs and mixed vocalists with one doing the more bassy end and the other doing the super high wails, I love it. I do wonder if we’ll see the return of that cheeseburger dude again though.
The said massive singer gets Thor’s hammer out for a swing during ‘Raise Your Hammer’, what better way to drive the song home and a bit of theatrics after the song about trying to lift it as well. I mean to say a bit, almost the entire show is theatrics and that’s probably why I love their live show so much. All that epic stuff that Wind Rose, Battle Born, Warkings and the like… it’s time for battle, your calling as a warrior is here and off to war (or, er, the metal show) you go. And this show, much like the last, is a real masterclass of getting the audience on your side and joining in with it, it’s like metal pantomime in the absolute best way possible. Also seeing someone get properly bonked on the head by a high speed beer mat(?) being thrown into the audience was pretty damn funny too. All For Metal really are just ridiculously fun, I genuinely can’t wait to see how they’d do a headline show but I sure as hell hope it involves fire or something. Don’t stay away too long, I need my epic metal fix, especially when they’re swinging swords about.
After an extended break, the members of Lordi quite obviously walk along the back of the stage to the centre “doorway” in the middle, the lights darken and the intro music plays. It’s time for some monsters playing metal and I’m so ready for a show that I should have gotten my arse along to 20 years ago. Over the course of the intro song I can make out a rather creepy looking monk (?) at the stage side gesturing at people before moving to the centre to regale us with a story prior to Lordi appearing on stage and getting the show kicked off. It almost feels like an introduction part to a ride at Alton Towers or Efteling, yes it’s a bit goofy but do I care? No. Do I absolutely bloody love it? Hell fucking yes. I’ve just noticed as well that off to the side of the stage there’s what looks to be a covered speaker stack with a mini amp and band on it, how cute.
Seems we’re getting a show that’s equal parts old and new in-between the minor splutters as he’s quite sick as well, what a champ for still pushing through though, anyway time for ‘My Heaven Is Your Hell’ I also wasn’t expecting ‘Blood Red Sandman’ so early in the set but hell yeah, I’m super happy I finally got to hear this song live! Nevermind theatrics, make way for a drum play along to the imperial death march and the cantina theme, and then finishing it off by pulling out glowing drumsticks to use as lightsabres, good god this show is already bonkers and we’ve barely started. We’re also getting a brief movie quiz? I have no idea where this show is going to go next but it’s a pretty wild ride! Yet more theatrics with plucking the keyboard player’s head off while she’s in a coffin of sorts which actually was pretty damn well done, I didn’t actually catch what they did with the “head”.
Smoke machine skulls, smoke machine guns, smoke machine…snakes..? It’s all very bonkers and I kinda expected it but also didn’t expect this much. And is that the fucking ‘Jurassic Park’ theme tune as a bass solo? What is happening?! With a Spanish game hunter that gets “eaten” by the bass player as well… I’m genuinely lost for words here. I mean I’ve seen bands with stage theatrics more than a few times over the years but the sheer amount that’s going on here leaves me thinking this is less of a music gig with a bit of theatre and more a theatrical show first with a few good songs thrown in. I don’t think it was intentional but Mr. Lordi fired a streamer gun into the audience and got almost the entire payload tangled around either a projector mount or decibel meter in the centre of the room, whoops.
Their guitarist even gets to “fly around” a bunch while covering yet more movie soundtrack stuff, there’s legitimately always something going on in this show. This sort of thing really must have taken an insane amount of work to put together and rehearse, the attention to detail, every single choice carefully put together and curated over decades of experience. Oh, and the sound is pretty damn good but I’ve barely had a moment to put even a word down about that. More movie soundtracks with a cut to Halloween’s theme, see it’s not just Ice Nine Kills that can do a bit of classic horror and we lead into “Devil Is A Loser”, time for a bit more classic Lordi with devil wings too!
As it feels like we’re drawing to a close considering the time now, ‘Would You Love A Monsterman’, seems to signal a run through their biggest classics now. And finally, the biggest song thanks to a certain Eurovision song contest win for Finland back in 2006, ‘Hard Rock Hallelujah’, a massively epic finish to probably one of the most bizarre yet fun shows I’ve ever been to. Nothing could have prepared me for this, absolutely mind-blowing.
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