By Jonny Bakes
The Macc Lads are having a party, down on Sauchiehall Street? Well there was no way I was going to miss a night of important life lessons about supping ale, shagging and the correct way to treat women as I was raised on the Macc Lads. In fact, I distinctly remember my dad sitting me down, pouring a pint of Boddies down my neck and playing through ‘Beer & Sex & Chips n Gravy’. So, when they announced a date at the Garage in Glasgow, I signed myself straight up to head on up the M6 to get involved.
We’re in the small G2 room of the Garage tonight, so it’s going to be suitably cramped, hot and sweaty which is exactly what a punk gig of this calibre deserves. The room is only really beginning to fill when our first band, The Gimme Gimme Gimmes takes to the stage in matching black shirts and white ties. Not to be confused with the punk-rock supergroup Me First and the Gimme Gimme Gimmes, this group of energetic Jocks bound through a series of punk covers of popular songs with a few surprising covers thrown into the set showing that anything can be a punk song if you’re brave enough!
They may look a bit like a wedding band, but I can assure you that if they were a wedding band and a woman was unfortunate enough to marry me, they’re exactly the kind of band I’d be booking! The first big surprise of the set comes in the form of a punky mash-up of ‘Blitzkrieg Bop’ and Dire Straits’ ‘Romeo and Juliet’, aptly called ‘Ramoneo and Juliet’. We’re only two songs into the set at this point, and already the band have certainly grabbed my attention, and a few others in the room begin to take notice of what’s going on while most are still crowding around the bar getting suitably tanked up for the main event. These guys are clearly having barrels of fun cracking out these covers and it really shows in their performance – I’m not sure a single member manages to stand still at any point during the set.
Towards the end of the set, The Gimme Gimme Gimmes launch into some distinctly Scottish covers to try and rouse this crowd into action starting with another mash-up, this time it’s Billy Idol’s ‘Dancing With Myself’ that gets the treatment with ‘500 Miles’. This manages to get the small crowd moving around and getting involved which continues through the remainder of the set. The set aptly ends with a fantastic punk reimagining of the classic Scottish song ‘Loch Lomond’ (of course popularised by Runrig). I’m certainly hooked and singing along as are the rest of the fans around me and this brings us up to a brief interval before The Macc Lads hit the stage.
I can’t help but notice that the crew have taken care to prepare properly for the Lads’ set. The Sound Tech is brandishing a hefty golf umbrella, and the monitors are all covered with black bin-liners. They know exactly what to expect and, having seen The Macc Lads before, so do I – The last Macc Lads gig I went to was an almost constant shower of beer (at least we hope it was beer). The room is suddenly pretty packed as everyone makes their way to the front of the stage as a fittingly over the top intro track is played (I think you’ll find the Avengers theme is used) heralding the arrival of the Lads from Macc.
Wasting absolutely no time, The Macc Lads immediately kick off with fan favourites ‘Alton Towers’ and ‘Gods Gift to Women’ resulting in most of the crowd screaming the words “spread your legs and get your knickers down.” It may have been 29 years since the band last played on Sauchiehall Street, but it’s pretty clear that they’ve still retained a pretty strong fanbase here in Glasgow! Following these first two tracks, we’re treated to the first of many Mutley McLadd jokes, this first one is so filthy that I spotted one of the younger barmaids having to wash her hands in disgust which amused me to no end.
After plenty of heckling from the crowd with constant chants of “You. Fat. Bastard”, the Lads kick into ‘Fat Bastard’ (the keen among you might notice that it’s a reworking of The Sweet’s ‘Blockbuster’) resulting in most of the blokes in the crowd screaming “fat bastard” in each other’s faces. Following this up is ‘Nagasaki Sauce’ which seems to finally be getting this crowd into gear. At this point not a single pint has been thrown, which is not what I expected from this Glasgow crowd at all. Maybe they’ve been conditioned by the bouncers to be better behaved these days?
Another round of fan favourites, or at least my personal favourites, follows some more joke telling from Mutley. ‘No Sheep Til’ Buxton’ and ‘Baggy Anne’ really rile up the crowd closest to the stage, and those who had hovered at the back now seem to be getting involved. A bit of romance is in the air with the next song, ‘Fluffy Pup’, there’s nothing like watching a bunch of guys shout “You can cook, you can fuck, you can do the washing up” at their significant others. Finally, about three quarters of the way through the set, the first pint is launched at Mutley which opens the floodgates for the onslaught of beer for the remainder of the set. Glad to see that the bouncers are pretty relaxed about this, otherwise it just wouldn’t be a Macc Lads set without it!
The set “closes” with ‘Julie The Schooly’ which gets the crowd sufficiently frenzied, the beer must have really kicked in now. It’s difficult to see the stage through the mess of bouncing blokes, and the shower of beer. The Lads can’t keep away from the stage for long though, a drowned looking Mutley is soon back on stage to launch the encore of ‘Barrel’s Round’ and ‘Sweaty Betty’. He must be absolutely knackered at this point, he is old now after all, but luckily the whole crowd know the words to this one so he hardly has to sing a word. But that’s all we’ve got time for, with the impending club night at the Garage the set has to come to a quick end with the crowd ushered out so that the staff can mop up the beer that has ended up all over the bloody place.
Fantastic sets from both bands tonight, with The Macc Lads showing that they’re still the lewdest and crudest band in Christendom. They may be “filther, fatter and flatulenter” than they were in the 80s but they’ve still nailed the art of supping ale (or at least sipping bottles of Bud) and shagging women and are still able to plough through a full set. Hopefully this reunion will keep going a good few years, or at least until the Lads have topped up their pension pots anyway.
- PHOTO CREDIT: Photos by the author.
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