By Jonny Bakes

We seem to have got ourselves caught in a little bit of a jam here. Gigs have been cancelled across the board, and now even the pubs are being closed! Yet our crack team of resident gig-goers still need to be kept entertained before they go stir-crazy. Fortunately, as always, bands are being particularly inventive at finding ways to still perform to their fans. And you know how the old saying goes… If a band plays and a journal isn’t there to review it, did the band play at all? Okay, you got me, I just made that up. But that doesn’t change the situation, I’m sat in my own lounge with a beer in hand eagerly awaiting an evening of silliness with the fantastic Psychostick!

Facebook header for Psychostick virtual gig

In true Psychostick fashion, we’re treated to a brief collection of assorted stupid clips from this stupid band while the band get ready to hit the live stream. And we’re off! Launching straight into their cover of Kenny Loggins’ ‘Danger Zone’ from what appears to be a basement somewhere!

There’s a fantastic response from all the fans, with the tip counter reaching over 200 bucks after just one song. The band’s gotta pay the rent for the studio and this is clearly a great way to recoup some of the losses of having all of their live shows canceled. I absolutely love the community spirit of the metal scene and this is a real clear example of this! Anyway, I’ll put the expressions of love to one side and let’s get back to the gig.

More silliness with a brief rendition of ‘Numbers (I Can Only Count Oo Four)’, the Drowning Pool parody, before one of my personal favourites, ‘Dogs Like Socks’, which gets a little shout out to Mishka (the dog) from Matty J. Rawrb is still attempting to read out the names of the donators in between songs, but there’s no way he can keep up with this monumental response! I’m glad I got my tip (and shout out) in early!!

‘Because Boobs’ is up next, with Matty J’s bassline dominating the mix as it should! There’s plenty of “chat boobs” going on in the chat window to spur on the guys to carry on and continue dishing out the silliness. Which continues with their song dedicated to the finest B-movie star of our time, ‘Bruce Campbell’, with all the kazoo you could possibly want! And then the hairiest of the Psychostick anthems, ‘Obey The Beard’.

After a string of cheesy jokes, it’s time for more songs starting with a more recent parody of the ’90s banger from Coal Chamber with ‘Mi Queso’. Shortly followed with another personal favourite ‘From The Heart’ which is dedicated to all those assholes who have been hoarding toilet paper and other such stuff (turns out this is a universal issue, who knew?). We’re nearly at 200 per cent of the tip target now, and if we make it to 300 per cent the guys might even be able to fix their van!

It’s time for a break from the music with a brief snack with ‘This Is Not A Song, It’s A Sandwich’ which would show off the harmonising talents of Josh and Matty J if it was a song… but we all know that it’s just a sandwich right? Now that we’re all fed, it’s time for that song that feels little like a personal attack, with the jovial ‘Thinkin’ with yer D’ which leads to an absolute onslaught of cocks in the live chat on this stream. Or “chat weiners” as they’re known by the guys.

It looks like we could possibly get some more live streams from Psychostick during these interesting times. Personally, I’m all for it, and the chat goes wild with many shouts of “YES” and “8====D” so I assume the rest of the virtual crowd are keen for it too! On that resounding note it’s time for a celebratory drink with ‘Beer’ and the crowd gathered in my lounge goes mad for this one! Granted, there’s only two of us, but the thought is there… Rawrb tries to thank everyone that has gathered to watch this stream but is expertly heckled by the entire band during several attempts!

Looks like Psychostick could be trying to set an early record for most uses of the F word in a live gig stream by ending their set with ‘NSFW’. It’ll take a lot to beat this one, but I’m sure many bands will give it a good go, I can guarantee it! But that’s the end of the show for tonight; it’s been slightly surreal, but I’ve certainly had a great time and I hope everyone else has had a great time too. We can certainly expect more reviews of live streams in the coming weeks, that’s for sure. I mean, it’s a little bit like satisfying a cigarette craving with some chewing gum but it does the job for now and is better than nothing!

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