No Sugarcoating & No Bullshit: November
Written by Jo Hayes
Sunday, 24 November 2013 03:30
Hello again Uber Rockers, it’s the time for your monthly dose of blogging nonsense (maybe I should come up with a new opening line?!)
So in my usual connect the dots fashion, this month’s blog is loosely based around manufactured music, inspired by such a crappy farce as the X Factor.
The X Factor must be the most over-used format on TV by now, as it has seemingly gone on for eternity (maybe this is hell, but I haven’t yet been informed this is actually it). Yet so many people go on this TV show to get famous, because that’s how they believe they should be a famous “musician.”
You just need to read Ben Elton’s ‘Chart Throb’ to tell you how much of a farce it is – where they try and get Prince Charles to win, and shows how this show works. I don’t make a habit of watching this, but during some usual channel hopping the other night, I couldn’t quite help but stop while some whiny, pop-star wannabe who “wants this sooooo much” goes on about winning the show as if it was actually a life or death situation.
When really, no, you will not die if you lose, and the world will not implode on itself, although maybe if you open your mouth one more time, and your horrible, shrill, out of tune voice, happens to utter one more note, then maybe the world should implode, just to teach you a lesson.
The sense of entitlement with the contestants is beyond me, much like rock school wannabes (reference to my earlier blog), who think because they’ve passed a few auditions, they’re automatically rock stars. The ones with the sob stories, which by the sad music, should be actors for sad charity ads.
If you have to work in McDonalds or get an office job, it will pay the bills, and you should be able to survive. Maybe the X Factor should be made into some Battle Royale/Hunger Games prototype – sing to the death, the last one may get a record deal, and a huge pile of debt – wahoo! Now that would be good to watch, but would sadly also line Simon Cowell’s pockets…hmmm…not so good.
The contestants don’t realise it, but they are really a part of a very warped comedy show – am I the only one laughing at the ones who “need it sooooo much” ? No, didn’t think so.
Talking about manufactured crap, my younger sister and her ever changing music taste, has bought a ticket to see McBusted (which sounds like a very strange McDonalds burger to me), for a silly amount of money for a hybrid who are so crap.
Then again, when I pointed this out to a friend, they pointed out a small band called the Dum Dums – who I used to really like, and you know what, I still really like their album. I met the band a few times at gigs, and they seemed like normal guys, into rock music, who just wanted a laugh (and a possible career out of it). I guess being manufactured doesn’t automatically mean crap – maybe getting your band together on TV doesn’t bode well for future success.
If it’s true that The Beatles were manufactured, then they got something right there (for the first couple of albums at least), and I’m sure many other bands can be considered “manufactured”, as they didn’t meed of their own accord, and were introduced – like a lot of bands then.
So, before I go off on a total tangent (unless it’s too late), shows like the X Factor are really fake charity appeals, for those who have no grasp on reality. However some so-called manufacturing is fine, in my opinion, if the band sound good, and they have the right attitude (and they’re not putting it on).
I’m sure none of you need educating in the ways of rock ‘n’ roll, or would even consider my rambling blog any kind of actual information source, just hopefully a somewhat entertaining rock ‘n’ roll blog for perusing on a Sunday…
Anyway, that’s it for now,
Jo