By Monk

Artwork for The Revenge Of Rock by Kickin' ValentinaThe Uber Rock Approved stampThere are very few times that a band, or more especially an album, live up the hyperbolae piled upon them, and it, by often overpaid PR teams. To me, Kickin’ Valentina are one of those rare exceptions – and, to be brutally honest, it is nothing the do with the self-serving praise heaped upon them by those within the machine… You see, I first came across the band’s name standing on top of a mountain… literally!

Let me elaborate: it was the first time DQ and I had visited the Steelhouse festival, and we were paying a brief visit to the VIP area when I espied a familiar face propping up the bar. During the pursuant conversation, he dropped a name from our mutual past and told me he was playing in a kick ass (sic) rock band that I should check out… having always respected Cookie’s opinion, I did so pretty damn soon after our return to ÜRHQ. I was immediately hooked…

Now, KV find themselves on the traditional “tricky” third album. Not that there is anything “tricky” about this latest opus, as, to be honest, it is a work of hard rockin’ genius… From Jimmy Berdine’s acidic snare snap and DK’s lascivious snarl on ‘Freak Show’ to the dying embers of the title track, this is an album that just oozes sleazy goodness from every pore, spewing itself from the dark sewers of the Strip’s back alleys and splattering its salacious grind all over your freshly laundered rip-off G’nR T-shirt.

This is an album that harkens back to the glory days of LA/NJ hair metal at its hair sprayed height, but in no way sounds dated: it’s exuberant, fresh and realistic for the modern era. Yes, it ticks all the classic boxes – big melodies, huge singalong choruses, soaring guitar solos underpinned by tighter than a pair of undersized spandex pants rhythms – but it does so in a way that, while reverential and faithful, doesn’t sound out-dated or irrelevant, a trap into which so many of KV’s counterparts fall, but rather the opposite. This is indeed the sound of rock ‘n’ roll proving that not only is far from a dead entity, but it is very much alive ‘n’ kickin’ and ready to take its revenge on the inane drivel that passes for “music” in these in(s)ane times.

With 2021 already showing severe signs of being perhaps an even bigger shitstorm than its predecessor, the world needs the glory of good old-fashioned rock ‘n’ roll. So, fuck the panacea of much-vaunted vaccines, as this is the only cure we need for the Überverse’s woes…

  • ‘The Revenge Of Rock’ is out now. You can get your copy HERE.

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