Dom Daley’s Uber Rock Guide to GLUNK
Written by Dom Daley
Wednesday, 29 August 2012 04:00
Everything has its place and as much as bands and musicians like to tell you they are original the odds are they all fit into one category or another; associating a band’s sound can be as much of a blessing as it can be a curse. Turbonegro asked the question “what is rock?” – well I’m asking (and trying to answer) the question “what is Glunk?” It won’t restore the order of the universe (or something like that) but it’s a great chance for me to listen to some awesome bands and songs I’d not played in a while.
You have the big umbrella of ‘Rock ‘n’ Roll’ that is all encompassing, but within that you might have punk, heavy metal, extreme metal, thrash, alternative, glam metal, glam rock, indie rock, power pop, death punk, goth, rap metal, speed metal, death metal, hardcore, garage rock, classic rock, prog rock, alt rock, Americana, country rock, oi!, street punk, jazz rock, cock rock, NWOBHM and in some cases you even have shit metal like The Darkness or Reckless Love. In some cases there are artists who defy categorisation through the virtue of being ‘orrible clueless annoying twat merchants like Phil Collins.
It tickles me when you have some weirdos writing into Classic Rock to complain that they’ve included a feature on Joe Strummer because technically The Clash weren’t a “Classic Rock” band, and a lot of rock music fans are just so snobby and would never want to admit to liking The Clash because they mostly listen to metal and would be seen as a sell out or their metal mates would mock them (the same people always admit to having a few Kate Bush records “coz she’s cute” and always see the musical worth in Genesis or Pink Floyd) because the Clash weren’t as musically gifted as some fuckwit like Dave Mustaine, or they could never have done what Dream Theater do.
It just wouldn’t seem right if we didn’t compartmentalise our music into genres and as much as we don’t like to admit it we all do it. Sometimes it seems like we’re at odds as to how we can like some bands that to many would seem polar opposites, but being music fans we can often find the tiniest thread of connection to justify how one minute you could play Johnny Cash, then the next you’re playing air drums to the latest record by Off! Über Rock’s very own Zoot recently coined the phrase that pretty much summed up a new genre of rock (when I say new the music has been around since the late ’60s but before it had fallen into many wrong categories and it has also seen bands stall and stagnate due to the fact they never quite fitted into the press and media’s convenient bracket). From this day forth that genre that straddles many other sub genres shall now be known as Glunk. Would you really have Hanoi Rocks in the same genre as Warrant? New York Dolls often get called godfathers of glam metal but are there any similarities shared between the NYD and, say, Reckless Love? Honestly?
Let me explain. A cross between glam and punk or glamorous punk basically can be primal or in the attitude of the music; a lot of stuff like Johnny Cash had attitude (not all of it granted) that has more in common with original punks than trad country or folk but you wouldn’t say Mr Cash was punk would you?
On the other side you have elements of classic ’70s glam rock like Sweet, Alice Cooper, Slade and T. Rex so should someone like Twisted Sister be considered Glunk?
Now don’t get confused here – we’re not talking the shit glam peddled by the likes of Black Veil Brides or other glam metal bands or maybe a Warrant, we’re talking proper glam: Hanoi Rocks who at the time in the mid ’80s got very little press because the media didn’t really know what to call them or where to pigeon hole them – were they punks or glam or metal? Too punk for Kerrang and too glam for a lot of the punks, but had they spearheaded the Glunk genre they’d have been well away; glamorous – punks? No doubt about it. To be fair to Zoot it’s a perfect description of what a band like Hanoi Rocks were about. Glunk is a broad church and whilst many will fall straight into the category others in my opinion will have at least a foot in the Glunk church but may already fall into another genre. You still with me? Already forming your Glunk top ten?
Just for a reference point and to spark debate I would like to offer up a top ten of Glunk records: you might agree you might not but that’s the beauty of “rock music” – it can be all things to all men (and women of course). Sure, I could have included the entire back catalogue of Hanoi Rocks or The Lords Of The New Church, maybe even had the Dead Boys at number one with ‘Young, Loud And Snotty’ but whilst I was penning this article these beauties sprang to mind and if I were to do it tomorrow it might contain a completely different top ten. So here goes…..
In no particular order here are ten Glunk classics:
‘Demolition 23’ – Demolition 23
Originally released on Music For Nations, a predominantly metal label, but no doubt about it this album is a Glunk classic. Just check out its opening couple of tracks and marvel in the sound of a band who most definitely know what time it is. ‘Nothing Alright’ and ‘Hammersmith Palais’ would be contenders for the Glunk national anthem. The cover songs on the album are what many would consider punk but given a whole makeover by D23.
‘Total 13’ – Backyard Babies
It was the album that broke the band and has boundless energy. Released at a time when music was really in the doldrums this gave us Glunkers something to champion, it also has Glunk essentials like handclaps, cowbells and lots of floor tom thumping! Just listen to the opening number ‘Made Me Madman’ and revel in the Pistols riff in the intro and the floor tom getting a good seeing to – It’s Glunk kids!
‘No Lunch’ – D Generation
This would also be at the top of any self respecting Glunk fans pile; from opener ‘Scorch’ through the majestic riff-a-rama of ‘Capital Offender’ right til the final blast of energy on ‘1981’ the drainpipe jeans and creepers D Gen were/are top Glunk.
‘Archway Of Thorns’ – Gunfire Dance
This merry four piece briefly flew the flag for Glunk in the early ’90s. When all around was falling to shit Gunfire Dance were blowing away live audiences with their love of early ’70s Iggy and wild reckless guitar slinging all encapsulated into a marauding band of gypsies or pirates who knew how to have a real fun time. Alas their star burned all too briefly and the tragic death of singer Ant means there will never be a reunion. But in the noughties this compilation was lovingly put together and we could all revel in how fucking awesome Gunfire Dance were. Just check out the bass rumble and classic Glunk drumming on the album opener ‘Blue’ to really get what a fine, fine band they were.
‘Whatever Happened To…’ – Soho Roses
At the tail end of the ’80s the Soho Roses stumbled onto the scene with a love of late ’70s punk and hairspray. They managed to knock out a few singles and then finally managed to get it together to record a full debut, ‘The Third and Final Insult’, before calling it a day at the London Astoria. They were tagged into the whole glam bag but these London boys had way too much suss for the likes of Warrant and Poison and had more in common with Manchester’s Buzzcocks – just check out their fantastic cover of ‘What Do I Get’. The sound was fast, furious and full of Thunderbird wine, the Soho Roses sound was as punk as it gets whilst looking like they’d fallen off the back cover of a Jayne County fronted New York Dolls covers band. The gigs were often shambolic and it used to infuriate me at the time just how dismissive they were of what they did because I thought they were fantastic and as exciting as anyone at the time, and the album still gets a spin round my gaff. Brilliant and most definitely Glunk.
‘Criminal History’ – The Joneses
Glunk as fuck to be fair. Shambolic? Sometimes. Reckless? No doubt. Punky? Oh yeah. The Joneses flame again burned all to briefly due to one thing and another – drugs might have been involved – but this LA combo borrowed off the good and the great and managed to knock out a classic album and a few singles before imploding; you only have to listen t
o ‘Pillbox’ to see they had the chops and most definitely fitted into the Glunk camp. They didn’t get that name by all sharing the same surname either.
‘Your Lips My Ass’ & ‘Eat Shit’ – Texas Terri
Both have merits for containing some superb Glunk. Just check out ‘Lifetime Problems’, ‘Sad Life’ or the majestic ‘Never Shut Up’ or ‘One Hit Wonder’ to know what it’s all about. Glamorous and punk rockin’? Most definitely. Where else would you get an all star Glunk backing band and covers of Thin Lizzy and the Stooges going on on the same record?
‘666-Pack’ – Motochrist
Seven tracks of supreme Glunk. From the opening low end of ‘Sun Won’t Shine’ this bunch of Los Angeles reprobates motor and chug with the best of them, and it also contains their defining moments – a tribute to Evel Knievel on ‘Evel’ and a homage to ‘Marc Diamond’ as well as the lyrical genius of ‘Hellbound’. Easily worthy of going in my top ten of Glunk.
‘Live at the Channel’ – Iggy Pop
Alvin Gibbs and Andy McCoy on board and touring the album Iggy recorded with Steve Jones is the pinnacle of Glunk live albums. What top ten would be complete without a live album?
‘Toilet Boys’ – Toilet Boys
The self titled album ticks all the boxes with a glamorous band, cowbells, hand-claps, and a stinking dirty guitar sound. From ‘The Party Starts Now’ to the crisp riffage on ‘Feels Good’ the Toilet Boys most certainly made some great Glunk music.
A bunch of singles also sprang to mind that most definitely have some Glunk going on: check out these beauties:
‘What Gives You The Idea You’re So Amazing Baby’ – Crazyhead
At the time they were wedged into the the “Grebo” bracket but go find it on youtube – it’s glunking for sure.
‘Bathroom Wall’ – Faster Pussycat
Hair metal? Not a chance. The first album was a rock ‘n’ rolling mess of the finest order and was down ‘n’ dirty enough to be Glunk.
‘King Rocker’ – Generation X
Clanging guitars and some serious floor tom thumping. Glunk!
‘Funhouse’ – Iggy & the Stooges
A disjointed rhythm that is both glamorous and punky. Most definitely a Glunk master-class.
‘Tooting Bec Wreck’ – Hanoi Rocks
Rumbling bass, awkward melodic vocals and, again, some masterful tub thumping. Never in a million years is it heavy metal.
‘Who Will Save Rock n Roll?’ – The Dictators
Totally different vibe to the previous offerings I’ve given but a killer melody and it’s roots are in punk, but there is more going on here and tunes like this gave birth to bands like the Toilet Boys and many others.
‘Alone’ – The Damned
Influenced by the Stooges The Damned are considered punk but there is a ’70s glam edge going on and they in turn influenced the likes of Hanoi Rocks.
‘Dyin’ Inside You’ – Danny Frye & The Devil Dolls
A bit of rock ‘n’ roll, punk rock attitude and great BVs and melody. But it isn’t punk and it isn’t hard rock but it has bits of both in its soul.
‘Fuck The Priests’ – The Hip Priests
Again, influenced by early MC5, Stooges and punk rock, it’s totally different from the choices above but it definitely has glunk in the trunk and shares the same middle finger attitude as many of my choices whilst not sounding like many either, that’s the beauty of this genre.
‘(Gotta Get Some Action) Now!’ – The Hellacopters
The debut album and the lead track has all the power and passion and muddy production that rocks like a mofo and sounds like it’s absorbed a hundred great bands from punk and garage to hard rock and forged it into this – beautiful!
Also worth a mention would be bands like Pure Rubbish – why wasn’t that album released? It’s a corker and something that would definitely fall under the Glunk umbrella. What about some of the early Japan records? Towers Of London had a fair smattering of Glunk going on. A musical genre always needs a poster boy and Johnny Thunders or Stiv would have to be serious 
contenders for that title, but a living legend I feel is more worthy and you need look no further than the one and only Mr Michael Monroe – both punk as fuck and glamorous.
Of bands still plying their trade The Hip Priests, The Sick Livers, The Black Bullets, Turbonegro and U.S. Bombs all have elements of Glunk going on, as do bands like Sorry & The Sinatras, Shotglass Killers, The Sewergooves, Biters, The Disconnects, The Stains, Chelsea Smiles, Kevin K, Ricky Rat and Sonny Vincent. What of bands like The D4? Surely they should make this category with ease, as should The Hives, The Trash Brats, Bad Luck Charms, The Flash Boys from the good old US of A, as well as the likes of Prima Donna, Prophets Of Addiction, The Humpers, Semi Precious Weapons, Beat Angels, Cute Lepers, JJ & The Real Jerks, Superbees, The Mansfields, Jeff Dahl, Star Spangles, Roger Miret & The Disasters, The Bones, Sea Hags and The Thunder Boys, Canada’s The Bonitos. The Jolts, Thousand Watt Stare and The Pariahs.
From the UK some great Glunk can be heard in bands like Dragster, The Breakdowns, Honest John Plain, JD & The FDCs, Cyanide Pills and The Adjusters had it going on. Europe has Radio Dead Ones, Imperial State Electric, The Hellacopters, Miss 45, Smack, 2nd District, Bloodlights, Gluecifer, The Nomads, Bitch Queens, Idol Lips, Panzer Princess, Midlife Crisis and Damaged Superstar to name just a few.
You’d even have to include rock ‘n’ rollers like the classic Dogs D’amour, the Yo-Yo’s, Lords Of The New Church are something of a flag barer along with Hanoi Rocks. Bands like the Ramones could Glunk. How about The Babysitters, the first Wrathchild album, Johnny Thunders And The Heartbreakers, Cheap & Nasty, The Throbs, even ‘Appetite For Destruction’ had its roots in some Glunk. The Dead Boys and Black Halos. The Loyalties, The Lustkillers and the Tango Pirates all have their roots in some sweet, sweet Glunk. At the heavier end Hate Gallery can Glunk with the best of them. And on and on it goes.
It’s by no means an exhaustive collection of names but it gives you a flavour as to the broad spectrum of bands who know how to Rock and fuckin’ Roll with some Glunk in the trunk. I’m sure I’ve overlooked some great contenders but whilst being quite different all these bands share some common traits. It’s over to you the readers to offer your suggestions. Are you with me or not? In Glunk we trust \m/
